Winter Break is always a time to reflect and take stock of the fall. I had many unexpectedly good moments. I learned many lessons. But I know how much I have to work on. I now fully realize how much further I have to go in this whole college-transition-to-work thing. I know I have to work on my grades and time management. I have to train my mind to absorb huge amounts of information and analyze it-not just to get through college but to excel at my career. Most importantly, I have to become active in my pursuit of the establishment of a career. 

I have to start seeking out mentors and to start seeking out internships and work that not only have an effective impact to reverse the injustices of the world but that can advance my quest to get a graduate degree, because those are SO important. Now, I realize the genius of my placing in New York. No other city in America offers such amazing opportunities for those who truly seek them, especially for my field. I need to stop wasting my time away with distractions that don’t add up to anything in the end. 

I intended to pursue a career in politics because all signs pointed towards it. My inner ’soul’ or whatever tells me that it is truly where I belong. I have the mind for it. And my ultimate aim is to help people by minimizing the wrongs in the world which for the majority of the world’s population are political, economic or a mix of the two. I only feel unclear and uncertain about it because I let the mind-frames of everyone else around me soak into my thoughts. I am on a clearly different path than the people around me on both coasts and instead of ignoring that I should embrace it. But I gotta work for it.

I wonder how this will all work out or if it possibly can. Sometimes I wonder if I distract myself because I subconsciously believe I can’t pull it off and therefore I shouldn’t bother with anything. Well, I guess that doesn’t matter now since I won’t be doing it any more. I’m a little scared I won’t be able to pull it off, but like so many people in the world seem to be able to educate themselves enough to support themselves-so if worse comes to worse I’ll be able to support myself.

I’m beginning to notice that the gigantic amount of high-quality material I’m reading is starting to change the way I think. Now I think nothing of reading a couple hundred pages where as opposed to before it seemed too much for me to accomplish in two weeks. The analysis seems to kick in quicker-now almost simultaneously with the intake of information. My level of thought and speech have become more sophisticated and my life has definitely been enriched by the new habit of reading I’m taking up. I know it will be important later on for work so I better hang on to it. This is DEFINITELY a habit I will be keeping.

I don’t know if having an internship and/or job during the semester is a good idea. My social life will be gone if I do, but like it might be worth it. Even if I only go to City Hall on fridays and like wednesday morning. I’m considering it, because having a job made me so much more serious about everything and at school I get so lazy especially when I see everyone around me stay lazy. I need to get up and go and this internship would be a great reminder of what I’m aiming for. Plus it wouldn’t cut into my time that much.

Working out might also be good for me in that respect. To anchor me into a routine and to “wake me up” from my laziness.

I’m going to try to eat better for cheap because I should value that too-I only get one body. However, that is so difficult, so I’m going to have to draw up some innovative plan.

I’m aiming for the UN this summer. Specifically, the UN sub-agencies because the central UN organization won’t accept undergraduates. That would look AMAZING on my resume. And ideally that IS where I will work one day. If I could get an agency related to the Middle East that would be perfect!!

I’m going to continue to study arabic out of the context of school. My teacher was a native speaker. Sure she knew everything but she couldn’t explain the information in a way that anyone could understand (she taught by the book). I feel like I can do a better job. If I plan to take arabic III during fall semester I better be in shape. Plus if I master modern standard arabic that would look AMAZING on my resume as well.

My Achilles Heel has been my ability to get distracted. Usually by worldly things like the internet, TV, shopping, books or excessive socializing. I’m considering taking some time in the morning to meditate to remind myself what’s really important in life and what lasts at the end of the day. Focus is the most important thing I need right now.

This is the year the Kitten grows into a Lioness :meow: !!